in pieces

My friend Joanna suggested I try this "FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY" challenge . It is to help your writing. A topic is given and you literally have 5 minutes to "dare to become Word Artists. To throw editing and proof reading and critically raised eyebrows out the window. We finger paint with our words – in pink and blue and dark purple. In glitter glue and bright green. Just five minutes. No more. No less. " The topic for this week was "STILL "... Here goes... STILL At the beginning of this year, I wrote a blog post about how busy and hectic life can be - and how stressed out we can be in our lives by putting pressure and expectations on ourselves. So I chose to try and spend 3o minutes a day "de-stressing" or being still. It was what I needed at the time - and hard work...What comes to mind when I think of the word still: peaceful, quiet, tranquil, breathing, wide open spaces, relax. Since then, my view of STILL has changed. I am 23 weeks p...

Well I've reached 23 weeks and every time another week goes by I celebrate! Some of you have wondered what bed-rest is really like. As most people know it is bliss for about 1 week, then your body begins to twitch and crave movement. Once you reach this state it is really a matter of occupying your mind. There are different kinds of bed-rest that doctors recommend depending on your situation, and so the type of bed-rest I'm on is "complete bed-rest with bathroom and shower privileges". This means that I literally have to lay with my feet up all day to keep weight off so I don't go into preterm labour. The transition into bed-rest was quite abrupt. At 18 weeks, the OB noticed some things were going awry and so put me on partial bed-rest and had me quit work that day. This meant I could still putter around the house, but wasn't allowed to do much. 2 weeks later I went in for my 20 week scan where the radiologist noticed that things were getting rapidly w...

At the beginning of this year, a woman from our church came up to me and asked how I was doing (in respect to grief over the loss of Isaiah and Tori Jane - twins from last year). I replied rather quickly, "Doing fine, thanks." And she said to me, "We have been praying for you, and I believe that you will be holding a baby by Christmas time." Later on she reported, "that she had been praying we'd have twins again." Some people may struggle with this kind of forward prophecy or word - but at the time it was exactly what I needed to hear to bring a seed of hope back into my heart. I had been aching for someone to speak hope back into me. I guess I was feeling like I was a child that had touched a hot stove and burned myself, and I was scared to get burned again - and I just wanted desperately for someone to speak words of life into me again. And this woman spoke hope into me, and for the first time in a year, I began to get excited about th...

Well there has been encouragement from a few that since I've been put on bedrest - I should write more often - especially on my blog... To be honest, I've sort of avoided writing as I journey down another path that I can't control. This path has connections to the past that conjure up all sorts of emotions - that include fear and anxiety as well as connects with a future that contains adventures full of joy and hope. I often feel stuck as far as how I feel - let alone know how to write it down. But then I thought maybe this will help me, even though it is so vulnerable. In 2 days, I will be 22 weeks with these 2 precious babies of mine. That is almost 3 weeks longer than I carried Isaiah and Tori Jane last year. Every day is a battle - overcoming fear that I might lose the kids again - yet every time I fear, something comes up to help me overcome - and I believe it's the love and the faith of the others carrying me on the wings of their prayers... LOVE There have ...