in pieces

  I don't know if you have ever struggled with your "bits n pieces" of art being good enough for general public viewing.  I love to draw doodley art/tangles/words... mindlessly on bits of paper especially while watching TV or listening to music.  I would never classify it as "fine" art.  I do it to relax - and because I'm  trying to slow down, I'll often make errors in the process from impatience or distraction. They are far from perfect. Not poetically beautiful. Not necessarily powerful or inspirational.  And are littered with mistakes. A few weeks ago, I saw my talented son draw a beautiful picture and half way through, throw it in the bin.  I asked him why he would throw away such a beautiful piece of work and he grunted "too many mistakes" and then "Its not how I imagined it to look." Oh boy - did I relate!   We want to hide our mistakes or start over... forget that we were so stupid to make such a big blunder in the first place.

  Here's to another new year! Who knows what kind of treasures and adventures I will discover in 2024. I don't usually do resolutions, but I'll often sit in a space and ask God - what do you want me to notice this year?   In 2023 the word He gave me was  repentance . It was a hard and confronting journey - (still is). Necessary for growth and change and deeply painful. It requires facing the music, confession, drastic change in my behaviour, in my character,  my parenting, my work - relationships, everything....This is an ongoing focus that won't end when the clock ticks over to a new year.  However while I've never felt so low in myself - I never felt so close and carried by God. Probably more than ever. His grace has been found every morning. I found some friends who loved me in my heartache - and who walked with me in my shame. I really do “thank God” for this year...even in all the pain.  I’m so thankful we serve a God that loves us so much He doesn't leave